YOLO

YOLO. Four letters. Four letters that have come to define our generation. Four letters which are an acronym for four words which signify a mantra for a self-centered generation. You Only Live Once is proclaimed as an excuse to leave responsibility for someone else and act selfishly. Our generation desires love more than anything else, but denies the responsibility it takes to truly care for another person. Love is more than a fleeting feeling, rather than a hook up with whatever walks by. At the root of these loveless four letters is a loss of something beautiful called delayed gratification. We hear about instant gratification all the time; we see it in our iPhones, Siri, TiVo, voice controlled navigation, order in…you name it, you can get it however and whenever you want it. And while instant gratification may have a place on slight occasion, we have come to expect nothing but it. In turn this creates the broken relationships we so desire to be filled with love. Because we demand instant gratification, we are not pleased when a loved one cannot do something for us on our time, and rather we let them know just how put out we are that they are not meeting our immediate need. Cycles of these types of relationships and attitudes are what keep divorce courts alive and well. The very gadgets and things we thought were solutions to our problems are truly our deepest enemies in the fight. What we thought was the cure, is not the cure at all, in fact, it’s the disease that keeps us displeased.

So what is the solution you might ask. I propose something called delayed gratification. It is the antithesis of instant gratification in that it is not always completed or even effects seen immediately. In order for something to be accomplished through delayed gratification you must invest in what you desire, with no guarantee it will actually happen, in fact you may not see results for a while. But here is the catch- it is something worthwhile. Let’s say you choose the delayed gratification route in a relationship, let’s say a lover and you seek the person’s good in every way you can, affirming them in what they do well and giving helpful feedback out of pure love when they fail. Instead of demanding from them, you tell them you will truly be patient with them as they work things out and seek healing, and  here is the kicker, you follow through with exactly what you say you will do. You take responsibility for your words, actions, promises made and even take responsibility for what you have broken or ways you have failed in the past that have contributed to the certain circumstance. You decide that there is something worth fighting for (your loved one) and guess what you fight with all you have. You don’t take the way of a coward shouting “YOLO, hit me up when you figure this out”. Delayed gratification is a process, it is a process of reconciliation and requires an investment from you, it takes what you’ve got.

So now it is yours to decide, is this life good? Is this a wise decision for me to make? What effects will this have not only on me but others, and is it worth it? Delayed gratification offers a way for love to work in a way that only love can do. Instant gratification offers a temporary and often short-lived pleasure or half-hearted satisfaction.

So it’s yours to decide- YOLO?

Our deepest fea…

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.